Me Being Famed? Unlikely.. ( for This Time Being)

What news you've got today? RA, an artist was arrested because of drug issue? Naaa, it's so old. Now, have u heard about the president of islamic party arrested by KPK. It's not drug issue but corruption case of beef importing.  You can get the information from detik.com. I am a lil bit surprise hearing the news. PKS, that's the name of the party, is so well-known because of their respected and honesty image. They got great vote from many people who believe of their image. Though lately their name is becoming less famous, thanks to a few of their representative's actions.

But this last issue has made their name becoming worst. Public's disbelief increases exponentially. Haha, Is it exaggerating? I guess not. This morning I read my timeline. Many negative opinion was written there. Though PKS name has already in their black list before this happen.

What I want to emphasize here is how one mistake could make your life is so miserable. What with you being a superstar, a politician, or any position in glitter area, it will give you a center of attention and blow up your life when you put wrong step in the eyes of your spectator. When I made a mistake, I could live just fine amongst my friends (I am not fomous yet! :p). I might feel so desperate in my mind but I guess not all of my friend know my mistake. I could apologize for my mistake to anyone I hurt and live in hope they will forgive and forget about the slip. I am not sure the situation will be the same for the president. Even, he might be proven innocent later on.

Being a leader (and well-known) doesn't always give us pleasure. You live in high rank. You get much. You will give much more. Your free time and free will. You make a blunder one day, you'll become a public enemy (possibly) for the rest of your life.

Should we ignore the position when the chance coming to us? If it happen to me one day, I will accept. Why? Because when it does happen, I pray I have you all as my friend who concern and always remind me about responsibility not to all of you (as society) but to God and to my family. I guess I will have strong mind too that will resist all offer that will put me in danger. Amin.

Lying

I thought I've Passed That Behavior

But here I am. A woman that speaks at least 5 times in a day that Allah is her only God, telling untruth to my friend. I had no reason to do that. Wait, I have my own reason. Though, I can say it's a white lie. But still, it's a lie, isn't it?I always telling my daughter to tell the truth though it is painful. But I did the opposite. Yes, I got good impression in my world but I felt so wrong in my heart. I still feel it. And also insecure. For who am I in this place accept a man doing His command? And I betrayed Him.

It is so ashamed and sinful. I am asking Allah to forgive me and accept my apology.
I regret my words and I hope not to repeat that performance.

This (Almost) Terrible Two and Adolescence

I know that having 2 children will bring me to some uncomfortable situation someday. Clearly, raising two will face me to increment of amount in financial area.  But I got my emotional balance tested here.
Having a daughter facing teenage year and a lil boy in terrible two might teach me to be more patient. Though today I couldn't tell that my response relating to my daughter egoism could be categorized as being wise mother.

I have no reason for being cynical to my princess. Though her movement to protect her belonging -well actually those color pencils belong to both of them, could be understood. Almost everything played by my prince became infunctionable or got lost somewhere. But, on my opinion her reaction run too deep so that I can judge that as bad move and too exagerating. She was like new rich person or OKB stereotype in our environment. She is becoming firaun in my eyes.

But my comment, one that I gave to her can't be grouped as good one too. I talked to her not in the best of mother talk. I realize I should appologize to her for my words but not my intention. I should explain wisely and I know that concept. But i did not use it when that happened. What with my emotion, and my hate of the arrogant behaviour covered my clear perspective and patience.

It happened so fast and I reacted badly. But the side effect will take longer to be forgotten if I am not preparing to fix it as soon as possible. Well, I am not the person who is so hard too admit her mistake. I am on my way to talk to my princess.

Now, that is the sample of my difficulties of being a mother. What yours?

Gerimis di Siang Hari

Makan apa ya hari ini?

Di dalam tas saya sudah ada nasi dan orek tempe. Hm, lauk minimalis dan tidak memenuhi standar makan saya. Untuk makan karbohidrat harus diiringi dengan sayur. Akhirnya saya putuskan untuk membeli gado-gado di luar gedung.

Mulailah perjalanan tersebut. Saya menyusuri jalan sambil berpikir diskusi yang sebelumnya saya lakukan dengan rekan kerja. Suasana hati saya selalu jadi mellow setiap kali selesai ngobrol dengan teman ini (mengenai persoalan kerja). Baiklah mari berbicara mengenai judging saya terhadap tindakan-tindakan yang dilakukan teman saya ini ketika suasana diskusi sedang berlangsung. Ketika kami memiliki pendapat berbeda dan berusaha menjelaskan maksudn masing-masing, maka mulai saat itu perasaan saya menjadi kacau.

Saya sering merasa menjadi orang bodoh dihadapannya. Hal ini dikarenakan saya sering meminta dia mengulang apa yang dimaksud. Teman saya akan menghela nafas, lalu berusaha menjelaskan lagi. Ekspresinya itu loh.

Lalu saat saya meminta dia melihat satu hal, teman saya itu sering menganggap saya tidak sabar. Aggapannya adalah saya berusaha mematahkan pendapat yang dia punyai. Terus terang, baru sekali ini saya diproject yang mengharuskan saya untuk menjadi seorang pemendam perasaan. Apa memang saya tidak bisa bekerja sama dengan orang lain?

Hasilnya adalah hari ini saya berjalan dengan tenang. Menarik nafas panjang, menikmati hujan yang turun membasahi jilbab dan baju saya. Sedikit menghibur diri. Bersiap lagi menghadapi diskusi lanjutan.

Btw, gado-gado yang saya pesan datang dengan spesifikasi tak sesuai yang saya harapkan. Saya meminta tambahan telor, ternyata saya mendapatkan lontong. :)

New Maid, New Hope

This is the last day of my assistant. She's been working with us for almost 2 months. Actually, she worked for me about 5 years ago. Then one day she came to my house and asked for new job. So, early september she start working for me.

The general problem of this people is having no smoothing plan. They change their plan, even life mission in day counting! And the new plan begins right from the second the decision's been made. Only in 2 weeks time, she told me that her boyfriend asked her to get married.

what5$#$%^!

Well, at least she's responsible enough to try finding the replacement. Hope the new one will be better. Amin ya Allah. Otherwise, I am thinking to get baby sitter service or beginning to see the possibility of day care. Please give us the best solution Allah.

I've tried both possibilities. Still, new maid is first choice. For time efficiency and financial cost. But if this new maid can't give me good performance, I couldn't agree more to move in out to new choice. Well for the sake of my baby :)